Designer Glasses

Okay, this pearl of wisdom is dedicated to the power lesbians among us. Designer glasses demonstrate a clear working knowledge of appearance and good eyesight. You've all seen them around somewhere...you might even work with a few of these gems. They are CEOs, managers, administrative directors, lawyers, physicians, vice presidents and entrepreneurs, to name a few. I've even seen them on some local dyke baristas (those must be some fine tips). They all have one thing in common...they are hungry for power and control...at work anyway. They seek out opportunities to demonstrate their erudite vocabulary, over-achieving sensibilities, and clear reign over their minions. Designer frames are the perfect exclamation point for these ambitions. Most straight women flaunt their designer handbags as a status symbol, but many dykes could care less about a Chloe, Prada or Gucci handbag. Sensible power dykes prefer to flaunt their wealth with designer eye wear. It's easy to spot one and it's important to know how to handle one of these authoritarian figures in a working situation.

Allow me to offer advice:

1. Listen intently to all advice, recommendations and suggestions offered by your Chanel-frame-wearing-lesbo boss. Be sure to act on these bits of knowledge in a timely and gung-ho manner. This will get you good karma points and increase your chances for promotion in the future.

2. If you are a butch woman, be sure to perform your butch walks and poses as much as possible in front of her. Like I said earlier, she wants to be in control at work, not in bed. If you are fool enough to flirt or f**k one, be extremely cautious and discrete. This will get you far in the corporate world...as far as a butch can go anyway. You might have to settle for being one of her minions, or perhaps her gardener.

3. Compliment her often on her fine choice of eye-wear and her vast knowledge of designer names. Some might consider this brown-nosing, but she loves to be noticed for her good taste.

4. Never call her "four-eyes" or "nerd". This approach will earn you nothing but heartache and demotion.

5. Treat her with respect and awe at work to stay in her good graces.

6. Keep your breath fresh and minty. All dykes with designer frames know the importance of fresh breath. They have a close relationship with their opthamologist and there is no profession I know of that requires a more constant, diligent watch over good breath. These women appreciate and even admire the noble pursuit of breath freshening.

Follow my simple tips and the designer framed dyke can be your best friend at work. She tends to be loyal and generous despite her tough, cold outward appearance. These dykes are truly to be admired and respected...at least in my opinion.