Potlucks

Potlucks -- the dinner party of choice for dykes. No softball season would be complete without the requisite kickoff team potluck. No summer solstice would feel so celebratory without five tofu dishes, six tubs of homemade hummus, eight variations on herbal iced tea, and fifteen vegan pies. And, what lesbian couple would even think about having a commitment ceremony without a potluck reception?

There are several reasons why potlucks have such a stronghold on the lesbian community: (1) Dykes are lazy. Why prepare a four course meal when you can convince your friends to do it for you? Why break out the fine china (which, by the way, has to be handwashed) when paper plates will do? And, why did Colonel Sanders invent "chicken in a bucket" if not for the uber-lazy, "oops-I-need-to-bring-something-to-the-potluck" lezzie? (2) Dykes have no flair for entertaining. Dykes have no clue what wine to pair with lamb, which fork to use for the salad, or how to make a centerpiece that doesn't involve yarn and old beer cans (see post on beer in a can). That's the beauty of the potluck - the only things that you really need are a table big enough to hold all of the food and enough lawn chairs to hold all of your friends. (3) Dykes are cheap. (see future post on tipping) Buying ten steaks is expensive, but throwing hotdogs into a bowl of beans and calling it "Beans and Boy Business" is cheap. Buying jumbo crab and shrimp is expensive, but tossing canned tuna into a pan of spaghetti and calling it "Pasta and Girl Business" is cheap. As long as you give your dish a funny name, the ladies will love it. Besides, all dykes know that the potluck is about quantity, not quality.


So, the next time you feel like playing host, kick that Martha Stewart cookbook to the curb. Just ice down a cooler of Budweiser, dust off the picnic table, and call up your best gal pals -- but don't forget to tell them the party is BYOD (Bring Your Own Dish)!