Softball

For many girlfriends of the softball dyke, softball and it's pull on the lesbian community remain a mystery. Ask these ladies why lesbians like softball, and you're likely to get a shake of the head and a shrug of the shoulders. Ladies, this little primer is my gift to you.

Dreams of youth: The dyke's love of softball often dates back to her childhood, where she spent untold hours playing team sports. Many lesbians can tell tales of youthful, unrequited love where the object of their affection was a teammate or rival on the field. Here's an opportunity to relive those years.

Equipment: Lesbians love their tools, and softball equipment definitely falls into that category. There is nothing like a broken in glove or a bat that feels just right in your hands.

Uniforms: Dykes love baseball hats, and here's an appropriate place to where them. Mullets look good (okay, less terrible) in a ball cap. Also, what's more dyke-a-like than uniforms?

Low impact: As sports go, softball is pretty easy. You don't need to be in marathon-runner shape, or even mall-walking shape. In fact, couch-potato shape is good enough. This works out well for many lesbians.

Beer: Beer in cans is a staple of the adult softball league. Some teams drink beer between innings. Staying sober is the key to victory when playing these teams. Beware of bawdy pitcher/catcher jokes from these beer-drinking lezzies, though.

Hooking up: All those sweaty ladies, some of whom are single, some who are drinking, some who are single and drinking. The length of the softball season is just about right for an extended fling. Beware dating your teammates, however. This can lead to some serious dyke drama.

While I don't have proof of this, I would venture to guess that softball teams have been a haven to lesbians for as long as softball has been a sport. Here in Seattle, there are whole leagues of lesbians braving the weather to battle each other for softball supremacy.

Every dyke knows there's nothing so sweet as getting to third base.